- Sebastian: You amaze me.
- Kathryn: Eat me, Sebastian! It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy ***. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to *** myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me, are you in... or are you out?
- Sebastian: What shall we toast to?
- Kathryn: To my triumph.
- Sebastian: It's not my choice of toast, but it's your call. To your triumph over Annette.
- [Kathryn laughs]
- Sebastian: What's so funny?
- Kathryn: Silly rabbit. My triumph isn't over her. It's over you.
- Sebastian: Come again?
- Kathryn: You were very much in love with her. And you're still in love with her. But it amused me to make you ashamed of it. You gave up on the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation. Don't you get it? You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with. And now you've completely blown it with her. I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
- [drinks champagne]
- Kathryn: Tastes good. So, I assume you've come here to make arrangements. But unfortunately, I don't fuck losers.
- Sebastian: You spend all your time preaching about waiting for love. Well, here it is. Right in front of you, and you're going to turn your back on it. So I guess we're just fucked. I'll move on. But you are going to have to live the rest of your life knowing that you've turned your back on love. And that makes you a hypocrite. Have a nice life.
- Sebastian: [voice-over] Dear Annette, I don't know what I could possibly say that would rectify the harm I've caused you. The truth of the matter is that being with you was the only time I have ever been happy. My whole life has been a joke. I prided myself on taking joy in others' misery. Well, it finally backfired. I succeed in hurting the first person I ever loved. Enclosed is my most prized possession. My journal. For a long time I considered it my trophy. A sordid collection of my conquests. If you really want to know the truth than please read it. No more lies. Please give me another chance. I'm a wreck without you.
- Kathryn: Oh, Sebastian? That little wager of yours? Count me in.
- Sebastian: What are the terms?
- Kathryn: If I win, then that hot little car of yours is mine.
- Sebastian: And if I win?
- Kathryn: [Takes off her jacket to reveal a skimpy-looking tank top] I'll give you something you've been obsessing about ever since our parents got married.
- Sebastian: Be more specific.
- Kathryn: In English? I'll fuck your brains out.
- Sebastian: [a little shocked for a moment, recovers] What makes you think I'll go for that bet? That is a 1956 Jaguar Roadster.
- Kathryn: Because I'm the only person you can't have, and it kills you.
- Sebastian: No way.
- [Starts to exit the room]
- Kathryn: You can put it anywhere...
- Sebastian: [Stops in his tracks, bites his lip] You've got yourself a bet, baby.
- [they shake hands and Sebastian exits]
- Kathryn: Happy hunting, Sebastian.
- Bunny Caldwell: How dare you treat me with such disrespect! I got you off the streets and this is how you repay me?
- Ronald Clifford: Got me off the streets? I live on 59th and Park!
- Bunny Caldwell: Whatever!
- Sebastian: We've done some pretty fucked-up shit in our time but this... I mean, we're destroying an innocent girl. You do realize that?
- [on Greg being gay]
- Blaine Tuttle: He used to sneak into my dorm room drunk every night. We'd go at it for a little while, and then, as soon as he'd come, he'd start freaking out. "What are you doing, man? I'm not a fag. If you tell anybody, I'm gonna kick your ass!" God. The only reason I let him keep up the charade is because the man's got a mouth like a HOOVER, Ooooof!
- Sebastian: I read your manifesto.
- Annette: You did?
- Sebastian: Yes. I must say, I found it rather... appalling.
- Annette: That's a first. Most people praise me for it.
- Sebastian: Most people are sheep. Who are you to criticize something you've never experienced?
- Annette: I wasn't criticizing. I just think people shouldn't experience the act of love until they are in love and I just don't think people our age are mature enough to experience those kinds of emotions.
- Sebastian: Are you a lesbian?
- Annette: No...
- Sebastian: I didn't mean to offend you. I just picked up on a little bit of that lesbian vibe.
- Kathryn: She's quite cute, you know? Young, supple breasts, a tight, firm ass... uncharted pooty... Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go where no man has gone before.
- Ronald Clifford: I would like to think that in these times someone of your stature could look beyond racial lines.
- Bunny Caldwell: Oh, don't give me any of that racist crap! My Husband and I gave money to Colin Powell!
- Ronald Clifford: I guess that puts me in my place.
- Marci Greenbaum: [into a phone; crying] He told me loved me, and I believed him.
- Dr. Greenbaum: [into a phone] Alright, just calm down. Take a deep breath, step out of the circle...
- Marci Greenbaum: Would you cut your psycho-babble bullshit, Mom! There's pictures of me on the internet!
- Dr. Greenbaum: What kind of pictures?
- Marci Greenbaum: *** pictures, what do you think?
- Dr. Greenbaum: JESUS CHRIST! How could you be so stupid?
- Marci Greenbaum: He was just so charming, and kept saying how I had killer legs, and how he wanted to photograph them, and things just got completely out of hand.
- Bunny Caldwell: How do you do it? Where do you get your strength?
- Kathryn: [pulling out her cross that doubles as a *** dispenser] Well I know this sounds corny, but whenever I feel the temptation of peer pressure, I turn to God and he helps me through the problem.
- Bunny Caldwell: Oh, that's beautiful.
- Mrs. Sugarman: Oh, did I ever tell you the time, when my late husband sent me...
- Sebastian: Yes, you already did, Mrs. Sugarman.
- Mrs. Sugarman: Oh, I did?
- Sebastian: Right after we played backgammon, Mrs. Sugarman.
- Mrs. Sugarman: Oh! We played backgammon?
- Sebastian: Uh huh. You beat me three times.
- Mrs. Sugarman: I did?
- Sebastian: Yup. Then I fucked your daughter.
- Mrs. Sugarman: Excuse me?
- Sebastian: I said, would you care for some water?
- Mrs. Sugarman: No, thank you.
- Kathryn: My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.
- Cecile Caldwell: But that would make me a slut, wouldn't it?
- Kathryn: Cecile, everybody does it; it's just that nobody talks about it.
- Cecile Caldwell: So, it's like a secret society?
- Kathryn: That's one way looking at it.
- [under her breath]
- Kathryn: Fucking idiot...
- [Cecile is wearing a shirt with a big koala bear on it]
- Sebastian: My, what an adorable shirt you're wearing!
- Cecile Caldwell: Thanks, my dad took me on a trip to Australia.
- Sebastian: And how are things down under?
- [looks up her skirt]
- Sebastian: Blossoming, I hope.
- Annette: I don't believe you.
- Sebastian: There's something I have to tell you.
- Annette: Tell me.
- Sebastian: This isn't working out for me anymore.
- Annette: [not taking Sebastian seriously] Yeah, me neither.
- [kisses Sebastian and he doesn't respond]
- Annette: What's wrong?
- Sebastian: It's not you. It's me... I'm completely fucked up.
- Annette: What are you saying?
- Sebastian: I thought I was in love with you but it was just a lie.I wanted it to work but unfortunately, I feel nothing.
- Annette: Why are you doing this?
- Sebastian: I just... I just wanted to see what you were like in bed.
- Annette: You don't mean that.
- Sebastian: You know nothing. You don't even know me!The fact of the matter is, there is someone I love. You don't even compare to her.
- Sebastian: I don't know how to make this any clearer to you. You mean nothing to me!You were just... You were just a conquest.
- Annette: You're such a coward.Look at yourself! You're shaking! Is that what you came to tell me?
- Sebastian: I'm sorry. I'm completely...
- Annette: Yeah, you're completely fucked up!Get out!
- [shouts]
- Annette: Get out!
- Annette: [Sebastian tries to touch Annette] Don't touch me! Don't touch me!
- [Tries to touch her again]
- Annette: Don't fucking touch me Sebastian!
- [Slaps Sebastian around the face]
- Annette: Just leave
- [after Sebastian leaves Annette starts crying]
- Cecile Caldwell: He took down my pants and he started writing the alphabet but he was writing it with his tongue.
- Kathryn: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. When I'm through with Cecile, she'll be the premiere tramp of the New York area.
- Kathryn: I think there's something going on between Cecile and her music teacher.
- Bunny Caldwell: Ronald? That's crazy.
- Kathryn: I know. She's so young, and he's so...
- Bunny Caldwell: Black!
- [Store Clerk sets down a cup of coffee]
- Bunny Caldwell: Brown sugar. No sugar.
- Annette: [on the phone] What are you reading?
- Sebastian: A Tale of Two Cities.
- Annette: Oh, I love Dickins.
- Sebastian: Me too. Hang on its the other line.
- [turns to the two hookers on his bed. One is in a thong the other has her hand on the first one's butt]
- Sebastian: Keep stroking.
- [talk to Annette]
- Sebastian: Sorry, that was my mom.
- Sebastian: Well... it's too bad that Greg's in Kansas this summer.
- Blaine Tuttle: Not any more. Football practice just started last week. He's back in the dorms.
- Sebastian: Do you think you can arrange a little pillow-kissing session with him?
- Blaine Tuttle: I do belive that Sparticus is playing on TV tonight.
- [Cecile returns home in the morning with her clothes rumpled and hair disheveled]
- Bunny Caldwell: Jesus Christ, where have you been?
- Cecile Caldwell: Shopping.
- Annette: I wouldn't expect a man of your experience to understand my beliefs.
- Sebastian: [taken off-guard] Uh... what's THAT supposed to mean?
- Annette: I've been very well-informed of your reputation.
- Sebastian: What have you heard?
- Annette: That you promise girls the world in order to get them in bed with you.
- Sebastian: [after a pause; more stunned] Who told you this?
- Annette: A friend wrote me.
- Sebastian: That's a little tacky.
- Annette: Why do you sound so surprised? It's the truth isn't it?
- Sebastian: [walks away; shrugs] If you say so.
- Helen Rosemont: Sebaaaastian!
- Sebastian: [Under his breath] Aw fuck me.
- [Hugging Helen]
- Sebastian: Aunt Helen! God I've missed you!
- Sebastian: Get your ass on the bed and prepare for the fuck of your life. After what you put me through I deserve it.